Birthday Reflection...

This Sunday 24th March is my 29th Birthday.

I have a very weird relationship with birthdays as I rarely think about them, rarely get affected by them, and almost never like to celebrate it with others. I don't like the attention or focus to be on me (I know there are so many who can relate to this!!). But, turning 29 feels a little different for me than the usual birthday. I know for many, turning 30 in a year can feel like a lot of pressure and quite daunting! I've had a taste of that but, in general, this birthday feels very positive for me.

My mantra and intention for 2024 is ease. Surprisingly, I still feel connected with my intention and we are well into March! This is a new and unfamiliar territory for me - feeling good and grounded. But, I embrace and celebrate it every single day, for however long it will last. Turning 29 has gently invited me to look back over my twenties and at what I've achieved, done, and healed. I have never felt as good as I do right now and I think I owe that to my increasingly kinder and more graceful relationship with myself. I think a lot of us would say our early to mid twenties were a bit of a mess. Mine felt like internal and external chaos at every turn! Disaster! But, I think that was because I was so disconnected with myself. I accepted bare minimum behaviour from others, and I got into a vicious cycle of self-hatred. I was not my biggest cheerleader, but instead was the only one who thought I deserved pain and suffering. Crazy and very sad! Now, I have such an immense compassion for myself and, in turn, others too. I can handle situations with more kindness and rationale, which is a super achievement for someone with experiences of mental illness like myself. I consequentially do not allow anyone to remain in my energy field, or in my life, who causes me distress or harm. What a way to show myself love! Of course there was a 10 year journey to get through my twenties and out of the other side feeling this way, and I have definitely not seen the last of my bad days! I can look back at all the mistakes I made and all the horrible things I said to myself, and know that those things needed to happen to create the resilient self I am today.

I am not saying these things to be boastful, or to suggest anyone else ought to be feeling these things at 29 or 30. I deserve to celebrate my joys, my accomplishments, and my blossoming relationship with myself. Only I know why that is so significant for me to acknowledge and share, and I am more than OK with that. In what areas do you wish you were more kind to yourself? Do you find yourself down-playing, or even fully ignoring, all the great things you've accomplished thus far? Do you allow yourself to feel your emotions and offer yourself grace instead of judgement?

In case you or someone you know is feeling anxious about getting older, or about all that is not yet achieved and feels overwhelmed, here are some ideas of things that may support you:

• List your top 5 achievements that you are proud of from your last decade of life.

• Share how you feel with a friend or loved one who you trust will listen (crying and ranting helps!!).

• Do a Vision Board for your upcoming year, or even for the next 3 years. This may help you to feel more connected with all the exciting possibilities ahead, and to bring your dreams out of your head and into reality.

• Have a birthday afternoon or morning to yourself, doing nourishing things that you have wanted to do for a while - a walk in nature, get an ice cream, watch a funny film with a hot chocolate. You deserve to celebrate yourself!

• Dump journalling - set a timer and write all the thoughts and worries that are in your head and get them out! No restrictions or politeness about how you feel. Honour where you are at and release it all. You can follow with a burning ceremony where you can burn the pages and set an intention for how you want to feel and show up for yourself from now on.