Body Image: A Tricky Business

I was inspired to write this post after speaking recently with a client about their relationship with their body. They felt the need to go to the gym often because their body didn't look like the other bodies that surrounded them. 'Peer-pressure' is definitely still a scarily big thing but now, that pressure has manifested more into 'self-pressure'.

To be completely honest, I've always been someone who enjoyed being different in my looks and body image. I was covered by 42 tattoos by my early twenties, and I seemed to have a rather fast metabolism until then too. But now that I am approaching 30, with a slower metabolism and having 'social media bodies' shoved into my face unlike when I was much younger, I find myself reflecting on body image a lot more now than ever. Having illnesses and issues with my body such as anxiety, stomach issues like IBS and GERD, and scoliosis, my body seems to have stretched, bloated and gained rolls in places I didn't really expect. I think only in the last six months have I realised how disconnected from my body I've been, hating on it, judging it, wanting to leave it at times and re-emerge as a rock-solid, healthy babe bod.

The reality is, we actually can change our bodies and it is getting scarily accessible to many of us. So, I won't say 'we can't change our bodies' and lie to you. But, one thing that has dawned on me beautifully in the last six months is that I would never ever tell a best friend, a family member, a partner, that they: need a tattoo to be more appealing, bigger boobs for men to like them, less hair on their body because it's icky, bigger muscles to look less weak. I couldn't image telling loved ones that - it is a rather heart-breaking thought! So, why do I tell myself these kinds of stories? That in order to be successful, more beautiful, stronger, I NEED: to have X Y and Z, colour my skin all over, dress in certain clothing, drink certain beverages, follow certain accounts on social media and morph my body as a carbon-copy of theirs.

In addition to this really helpful method of picturing yourself being mean this way to loved ones (and failing miserably), having a life coach who specialises in somatic practices (getting back into the body and re-building the mind-body connections) does wonders for my body image. Part of the wisdom of somatic therapy teaches you to get to the point of noticing messages that your body is sending to you on a daily basis. The messages we tend to notice most are things like: 'I'm hungry', 'I'm cold', 'I want a hug', for example. But ones we tend to ignore most are: 'I need to rest', 'I need to give myself loving touch', 'I need to chat to someone', 'I need to say no to this', etc. When we are more in touch with our body's signals, we tend to approach ourselves with more love and care, because we have the epiphany that we are the ones having to live with and in this body forever. No one else can fully satisfy or care for us - we are the best person to do that.

I don't think it's easy to connect with your body, especially if you've experienced abuse, eating disorders, weight issues, low esteem, which many of my clients struggle with. But, it is completely possible and completely available to anyone at any time. It starts with the smallest gesture of self-care, such as noticing a breath, taking a deeper inhale and exhale, saying no to a plan in favour of resting, looking in the mirror and smiling! We all neglect our bodies at times, we aren't alone in that. Body image is a tricky business! But, can we begin noticing and being present more to how your body is, how your body moves, what your body needs, when your body feels most comfortable.

Do it for you as your body's life-companion, not for anyone else...